You don't have to do it all all the time

There will be times, when it's a good thing to admit that you can't do it all constantly. There will be times, when you just can't do everything you want to all the time. And I have come to accept that it's ok.

I'm taking this weekend off to recover from a very exhausting first week of school, and I'll be ready to restart in kickass mode next week when I'm rested and recuperated. Candy will understand, and I'm sure everyone else will understand as well.

Let's face it, the first week of school is rough on everyone. Who gets anything done the first week of school, other than being back in school? It's usually not until the second week of school at least that we all begin to feel like we're getting an ounce of control back into our lives. No, I'm not making excuses. It's simply the truth that I'd forgotten because I'd been out of school for too long, that I don't even remember what the first week of school is normally like, especially for college students. Being this tired shouldn't come as a surprise. It should've been expected. After 4 years, it's a bit of a shock on my system. And the difference between being 28 and being 24, I never would've imagined it being this noticeable. Yeah... what happened to all my energy? 

I think I might've written some amount on this before: that you do what you love because you love it, not because you feel like you have to do it or have no choice but to love it. It's true. If you feel like you have to drag your heels, then what's the point? I love riding and yoga with every fiber of my being. But if I'm hurting, or fatigued, or not feeling well, or just not up for it, then wouldn't they become chores that I have to force myself through as opposed to hobbies that I enjoy when I can and when I feel like it? The last thing I want is to feel obligated to go to the barn or the yoga studio. I don't want them to turn into things that I have to do instead of things that I want to do. And I've learned my lesson on this: the more I push myself when I shouldn't be, the more I force myself to go and go when I should be taking a step back and go easier on myself, the more they become responsibilities instead of recreations. I ride and do yoga because I want to and love to, not because I'm duty bound to. And I'm sure neither my trainer nor my yoga teachers would ever want riding and yoga to become obligations that I feel I must attend to so often at certain intervals, that I can't get away from at all even when I truly need to temporarily.

When you need a break, you need a break. For any reason, or for no reason at all. The world will still go on when you get back. It's a much better idea to hit the stop button, walk away for a bit, give yourself some time, and then start up again fully recharged, than to shove yourself through mud and grime, beat your body into submission, feel as if you have a deadline to meet in every corner, and desperately flail your way through as if your life depended on it, and all the time, growing weaker and sadder with every step because you refuse to let yourself refuel. 

No matter how important something is to me, I know I need to be able to say "no, not today" without feeling guilty. Because it's ok. There's a tomorrow, a next week, a next month. Once again, what's the rush? Candy will be here. Peace Yoga will be here. I will be here. I don't have to do it all at once. I don't even have to do it all in a short time. Take your time, catch your breath, regain your strength. Whenever you need to. And every time, it's more than ok for you to do so.