TGIF

Slight change in plan. Riding has been rescheduled to tomorrow. I was simply too tired today, and my entire right leg hasn't stopped making its opinions known. I did, at last, go see my doctor for it. She prescribed anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy. I must remember to make an appointment on Monday. Fingers crossed that it works! The doctor doesn't think it's something too serious, yet. It could just be inflammation and minor patella injury, no more. It's not going to stop me or slow me down or anything though. Riding and yoga shall proceed as planned. I did appreciate a day off. I sure needed it. I felt bad not going to see Candy today, but then again, how can I take good care of my pony, if I don't take good care of myself first?

That brings me to another topic. I can't help but wonder if I'm about to pile too much onto my plate, again. Why is it always so hard for me to be sure?

Course load, field experience days, and professional portfolio aside, I want to stick to my original plan of a recital for my graduate project to complete my master's degree this year. And guess what? Putting together a graduate recital is a boat load of work, as if no one has seen that one coming. I'll have to squeeze out more time for daily vocal practicing, repertoire selection, score learning, and coaching sessions with my accompanist. For someone who's been out of this whole loop for 4 years, this is going to be anything but easy. I need to get my voice back in time, new pieces learned, dictions honed, and save ample rehearsal times with Katya. As if my schedule isn't already stuffed to the rim with classes, internships, homework, riding, yoga, and home caretaking, now I need more time to sing, too. Also, pulling a whole recital together without the supervision of a teacher is more than a bit daunting, something I've never done before in my 10 years on the music scene. Can I really get away with not taking lessons at all, and still pull this off well?

If there's any time for me to start fully believing in myself, it's now. I have to not stop saying to myself that I can do this, that I will succeed, and that I am good enough. It's a risk, but it's a chance that I have to take. It's one way to prove myself, to show "them" how wrong they were about me those years ago, and to let the world know that this is the real Holly Carr, the super awesome kickass music teaching, yoga practicing, and horseback riding opera singer!

In our own special ways, we can have it all.