Not quite there yet, but it's ok

How wonderful it was to return to the studio for ashtanga yoga! Although I was one of two students in class this evening. It was one of the less rigorous classes as far as ashtanga goes, but I had fun, and was complimented again by Tracy, which is always a good feeling. Yes, believe me when I say, you can tell when someone has been out for a couple of weeks. My balance was everywhere, and I was wobbling through the revolved poses. Not to mention, taking deep, full breaths is still a struggle. I'm not used to shallow breathing through yoga anymore. I'd come to depend so much on my reliable, consistent, fulfilling breaths to propel me through each pose, each movement, in and out. Without those breaths from the beginning to the end, I'm finding myself shaking apart easily, as if doing yoga on eggshells, falling out of the asanas and stumbling through the vinyasas. Breath is foundation. I'm realizing this even more now. It's what keeps everything together and going, and I've come a long way to learn how to utilize the breath properly, to keep me moving through a 75-minute yoga class without wearing down. Although I didn't have to get into child's pose just to catch my breath today, I was still feeling the irritating sensation of not having my lungs filled to their capacity and my chest expanding to its full extent. I've been told that it takes at least a month for bruised ribs to heal. Ok, I got at least a couple more weeks to go before I can breathe 100% normally again. I know I must be patient. Patience must be in the eight limbs of yoga somewhere. In the meantime, modified poses, child's pose, slower flows, and take rests if I must. Once again, must remember, ahimsa, even though I know I'm so over being injured and tired.

Over the past few days, I have devoted much time to finding a job. I have created a profile and filled out the very long and detailed online application on the DE school network website. I have revamped my resume and applied to several school districts. This afternoon, I powered up my brain and wrote a cover letter, the first one I've ever written, which I'm rather proud of, I dare say. Soon after sending off said cover letter along with my resume, I received a phone call from the assistant principal of a catholic elementary school in Perryville, MD. I have an interview there tomorrow morning. It's exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. The determination is real. I'm so ready for a real job. I just want to start teaching. I don't even care all that much about salary right now. I need to start working, to get an actual career going, because I'm worth it, and because I've always been a capable, diligent, and ambitious woman. I've waited too long to become a teacher, and I know I'm ready to be one!

Tomorrow, I'll need to remind Ezra to kick me out of the house and to the barn as soon as dinnertime is over if he has to. I haven't seen Candy since Saturday, and I need to get off of my lazy behind that's been staying in bed till past noon everyday since Sunday and go riding. No more excuses, no more lagging, no more getting behind!