Love, me

Articles like these have gotten me thinking a lot:
I'm overweight... but that doesn't give you the right to be rude 
How can we talk about healthy body image in the yoga community? 

At the age of 28 and standing 5'8'', I'm now feeling my best and healthiest ever weighing at 140 pounds, and I have never weighed more in my whole life. After many years of battling various health problems, I'm happy to say that at last, I'm at a point of feeling my own strength, endurance, stamina, energy, and fitness. I'm proud to say that I'm a woman who feels 100% confident in her own skin, who loves her own body, and who's happy with how she looks, with or without makeup on, naked or fully clad. I live an active lifestyle, involving 6 days a week of horseback riding and yoga. I eat well, though the word "diet" has never been in my vocabulary. No, I'm not "ripped". I don't currently have the most flat abs or the most muscular arms. I have a belly pooch, and my thighs touch. But guess what? I'm fine with them. They don't bother me. Nothing about my physical shape and form bother me. I'm proud of what my body is capable of. Everyday I feel its power increasing with my hard work and determination. I want to continue making my body healthier and stronger because I love and respect it. I want to always make it better and feel better in it, because it's mine, and the only one I'll ever have.

In the past and recently even, I've often been complicated on my height and build. I've always been tall and lean. I've never had a weight problem. I've been blessed with good genetics, topped with good living habits. So, I've been told on numerous occasions, that I "look" like someone who rides horses and/or does yoga. I've been told that I'm envied for my long legs and slim waist. I've been told that people can look at me and know that I work out a lot. I've been told that I look great.

Ok, I can't say I haven't felt flattered by compliments on how I look. I can't say it doesn't put a smile on my face when I hear others say that I'm a beautiful woman. After all, I've worked hard and sweated hard, and who doesn't want the fruits of their labors acknowledged and praised? But the other side to this coin is also the realization that I have, through nothing of my own intention, fallen into a very specific category of our modern society. Living in today's world, in a developed western country, among the middle class, I'm all too aware of the fact that so, so many women who are my age, younger, and older would dream of looking like me, who wish they had bodies that were like mine. I realize that often times, I'm not the only one who's hearing the compliments directed at me.

There are other women around me who are looking at me and listening to what's being said about me. And there are no doubts in my mind that it's only become more and more increasingly difficult to eliminate body image issues among American women in the 21st century.

I'd be the biggest, fattest liar if I were to say that I myself have never fallen into the traps of our society's unrealistic standards of beauty and its quixotic examples of the "perfect" female body that are practically impossible for a human being to achieve. Yes, I have stared at the beautifully toned bodies of my yoga teachers, the results of years upon years of consistent yoga practices, and felt green with envy. I have heard my inner voice telling me that I wanted their arms, their legs, their abs. I have felt like an elephant sulking on the floor while watching them so effortlessly lifting themselves up into arm balance inversions.

I wonder if the women who are on the side of "larger sized", who always tend to go for spots in the back of the yoga studio, would look at me in the front and think the same things. Mind you, I like being in the front because I want to be able to see the teacher better, due to my bad eyes despite glasses/contacts. I don't go for the front in every class to show off.

What I want every woman to know, is that whereas we may all be society's superficial targets, we are who we are and we ought to be proud of it. We may all be at risk of falling victims to society's pressures that are plastered all over our TV screens, news stands, magazine racks, and billboards, but nothing can take away from us what we truly feel about ourselves on the inside. We are more than what the eyes can see. We are more than what our world wants to compare us to. We are more than what the media thinks we should look like. We are all amazing in our own ways. If at any point in our days, do we feel any sense of insecurity and shame about our bodies, because it's what our day and age have unfortunately conditioned us for in this life, let's tell ourselves that it's ok, that we are but human, that there's a reason for us to feel this way, and that we should be aware of it, and then let it pass.

There's no doubt that yoga is on the rise as one of the latest fitness trends for weight loss and body toning, thanks to the growing number of Hollywood stars and models who have discovered it and are now promoting it higher and higher as a holy grail for looking and feeling better. Renowned yogis are reaching celebrity status. Yoga is all a sudden not a hippie pastime but a hot sport. Yoga is now almost something that the cool kids all want to try nowadays. Well, far from the whole point of yoga, if you ask me. I, for one, don't do yoga to lose weight, because I don't feel the need to lose any weight. And the original and comprehensive purpose of yoga has nothing to do with making your body Maxim cover ready. I'm not saying, if you want to work on being healthier and shedding a few extra unhealthy pounds, that you shouldn't try yoga to do so. I'm not saying that yoga isn't an effective and healthy tool for weight loss. I'm saying, don't look at me and think, "wow, she's so skinny, I wonder how long she's been doing yoga?"

What I want, is for more women, of all shapes and sizes, to think like I do: "I am beautiful. I am good. I am enough. I am working hard. I will always be better. I can improve. I am awesome. I love myself." On horseback or in the yoga studio, it's what I endeavor to be, a positive image for confidence and self-esteem, for feeling secure and happy about one's own body in every way possible. No one has to be perfect. No one has to look like a Playboy centerfold to feel the best about oneself. We are different for a reason, and we should never have to strive for all looking the same. 

Be yourself, and be proud of it. Love who you are and what you can do. Kindness to oneself, kindness to the world. Namaste.